


She Can't Be Gone

by randompersonH2O



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 03:58:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14926709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randompersonH2O/pseuds/randompersonH2O
Summary: When the unthinkable happens, how else is he supposed to feel?





	She Can't Be Gone

Rick looked up and into the sky as the heat of the midday sun bore down on him, swiping his arm across his head to clear the waterfall of sweat from his brow. He knew it would be back within minutes, but it was better for him to be able to see now than have sweat dripping into his eyes while he was trying to navigate the field full of walker bodies.

They had cleared the field out days ago, and now it was time to empty it of the rotting carcasses they had brought to an end with their own hands. The group hadn't thought about it too much when they had first cleared it out, but now that they had cleaned up most of the prison and made it a slightly bearable place to inhabit, they would need to open up the fields for other things they would need. It would be great if they could start planting some crops out there and start to support themselves instead of relying on scavenging as their only food source.

"How many more do we have to pile up?" He asked Daryl, grunting as he heaved the rotting, mangled body of a walker onto the ever-growing mountain they had started about an hour before. They were still nowhere near close to clearing out the field, but the glare of the bright sun was keeping him from being able to tell just how much more work they had left to do.

"I don't know, maybe twenty?" The redneck replied, shrugging as he tossed the mutilated corpse he had been carrying onto the pile. It looked nothing like the human it had been, but they had stopped thinking of them as people a while ago. It didn't help to think that way when they were trying to sink their teeth into your flesh and feast on your insides.

"Good, because the smell's starting to get to me," Glenn said, abandoning any attempt at displaying strength and laying the walker he had dragged over next to the pile. Rick almost chuckled at this, but figured that Glenn would take it more as an insult than a compliment of his strength compared to the sweaty hunter that had been throwing bodies onto the pile all morning.

Both of them made it seem as if the way they piled up bodies proved something to the rest of the group. However, it was quite the opposite. Throwing them like that only wasted energy, and they needed all the energy they could get on days like this. It wasn't like the women would be eager to drag these across the field, and at the moment, they were the only ones capable of completing the task. The corpses were all going to burn at the end of the day, so as long as they were close enough to allow for that, the former sheriff wasn't picky about how the job was done. 

"The smell's getting to all of us, Glenn. Just try your best to ignore it," Rick replied, walking off quickly to go grab yet another corpse. The one he grabbed next was a bit worse for wear than the others, and had obviously been gnawed on quite a bit before it turned. Rick had never paid the appearance of the creatures any mind when he fought them, but now that they were no longer a threat he found some of their old injuries interesting as well as appalling.

It appeared that the thing had been a younger woman before it had joined the undead, but most of the long hair that he would have once identified it by had fallen out long ago and left a decaying scalp visible in its wake. The bite wounds it had taken prior to it's transformation were surrounded by thick layers of puss now, and the stench suggested that she had been one of the first to turn in the surrounding area. It made Rick want to be sick, but he wasn't going to let this ruin the first breakfast that had actually satisfied him in quite a while.

He cleared the sweat from his forehead yet again, glancing up at the prison for a moment to see if anyone else dared to come outside and face the horrible stench that he and his companions had been attempting to ignore for the majority of the morning. Sure enough, Hershall had managed to limp his way outside on his new crutches, his youngest daughter, Beth, at his side.

Rick smiled up at the both of them, glad to see that Hershall was up and walking around so quickly. His leg had only been amputated two days ago, yet he was already trying to integrate himself back into the group and see what he could do without that leg. Rick was sure nothing would change for the old man in the way of contributing to the group, but it would be harder for him to move around now.

Rick turned back to the walker he was dragging, throwing it on the pile quickly before looking up at the prison yet again. However, this time he had no smile to send up. What was approaching his friends from behind was not something for him to smile at.

"Walkers!" Carl, Rick's son, shouted, pulling out his pistol as fast as he could and taking a few quick shots at the approaching horde. Guns were typically saved for absolute emergencies, but it was very clear that no one who had decided to venture out of their new home had thought to bring a quieter weapon with them. Carl didn't mind, though. It allowed him the opportunity to be the hero for once. At least, until his mother's thin fingers latched onto his arm and pulled him in the direction of the prison.

"Lori! Carl!" Rick shouted, taking off towards the prison as fast as he could. He knew that those outside were not the best with weapons, which was the thing that worried him. Normally the approaching group of walkers wouldn't be as alarming to him, but his thoughts were immediately focused on getting up into the concrete yard adjacent to the prison to protect everyone from the immediate threat to their lives.

He couldn't lose his wife and son. Not after all he'd done to find them.

Rick reached the fence quickly, the moans of the stampeding walkers drowning out all of his thoughts. He just needed to get inside, but that was a problem in itself. What had he done with his god damned keys?

"Rick!" Daryl shouted, tossing the very object he had been frantically searching his pockets for towards him.

Oh yeah, he'd lent them to Daryl while he was checking the tombs.

Rick nodded his thanks quickly, barely catching the keys as he frantically raced to shove them into the lock and pry the gate open. Daryl and Glenn reached him just as he managed to get it open, and they pushed past him without a word. The two had their weapons drawn within moments, diving into the horde of creatures that had somehow made their way into their home.

Rick pulled out his knife and followed his friends into the horde, stabbing as many walkers as he could manage. He wasn't even paying attention to what was around him anymore, just the pests that were lining up in front of him in hopes of a meal. However, the only thing the foolish creatures were receiving was freedom from their eternal search for food.

It didn't take too much effort for all three of them to bring down the walkers, but the adrenaline and fear that had been coursing through Rick when the walkers first dared to reveal themselves left him breathless now. He turned to look at the prison, glad to see Hershall and Beth emerging from a door that was fenced off to his left.

"Is everyone okay?" He called, scanning the courtyard of bodies to see if anyone that was within his line of sight was injured in any way. However, everyone confirmed otherwise, and he gave a quick sigh of relief.

"Where's everyone else?" He asked, looking past the old man and through the doorway to see if he could see Lori and Carl. There was no such luck.

"They went through the other door with Maggie, but I don't know where they went after that. I saw T-Dog and Carol head through another door on the side of the building, too."

"Then we'll have to find them," Rick said, trying not to let the fear for his wife and son overcome him yet again. He had to lead these people, and he couldn't take a vacation just because he didn't know where his family was.

He froze as the wails of a child filled the air around, turning to see Maggie and Carl ascending the steps, a blanket-wrapped bundle in her arms. Rick frowned as they approached, his own face mimicking their expressions as he realized what had happened.

His wife had the baby, but she traded her life for the child's.

"No," he whispered, stumbling towards Maggie and Carl as his eyes filled with tears. The pact he had made with himself to keep it together for the group was broken. The fear Rick was feeling had turned to despair, and he wasn't going to hide it from anyone. No one mattered anymore. His wife was gone, and that was the only thought he could process at that particular moment.

"Rick, she told me to give this to you," Maggie choked out, attempting to stifle a sob as she handed Rick a crumpled piece of paper that had been sitting out long enough to begin yellowing.

Rick nodded, unfolding the paper and scanning the frantically scribbled words behind the blurry veil of tears that had formed in front of his eyes. At first he thought he had just read wrong, but upon grazing over the words once again it was clear that Lori had hid much more from him than he had thought.

"No," he sobbed, dropping the letter at his feet and walking over to Carl. There was more than enough pain in his eyes for him to know what the boy had to do.

"Oh god, Carl," Rick whimpered, finally allowing himself to collapse onto the ground and curl up in a fit of tears. He didn't care how many people were watching or what they thought. He knew they would be doing the same thing if they'd lost as much as he had. Besides, he wanted to grieve while he was safe. As soon as he was finished here, he had a body to find.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for a one-shot contest on Wattpad, but I thought I'd share it here. Hope you enjoyed it!


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